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  • Writer's pictureTa&Ti

3 secrets about Advice you need to know

Updated: Nov 2, 2021

So a reality of life is that we are either going through something, coming from something, or about to go through something. It’s an inevitable cycle that we can only adapt to. I like to coin it the “Something Cycle.” But as we go through that proverbial something, who do we seek advice from? Here are 3 secrets about advice I wish I knew about advice and what to look out for.

1. Words create things and add or subtract from your belief system

Words are a very powerful tool. As a matter of fact, as you read these words they have the power to impact you in the way you choose them to because they carry a weight. When tied to advice you can either believe what you are told or ignore it. Either way the words that are spoken through advice set into motion an outcome you have a choice on. It becomes extremely important that you vet any and all advice you get by virtue of understanding the background that your advisor is coming from. Sometimes the person you are asking for input may be inexperienced in handling your situation but is a place of comfort for you. This can be dangerous. It’s kinda like asking a person who’s never been married to give you advice on how to maintain a healthy marriage. There’s no way they can give you experiential advice because they have never walked in those shoes. A person with 50+ years of marriage to the same person can probably offer words that create a meaningful addition to your belief system because obviously they would have walked that road a while and seen more. You must be careful whose words you allow into your “Something Cycle.”

2. Not everyone has your best interests at heart

Speaking of being careful! It’s highly important to always keep an eye on who you let into your “Something Cycle.” Look here, not everyone has your best interests at heart. This is most apparent in circumstances where you are about to excel. Let me paint the picture. Some of you may have come across a job or relationship opportunity that held so much potential and in your excitement you shared this with some of your allies. What you didn’t know, that you may have later learnt, is that the some of the ones that jumped for joy with you are the very ones that went behind your back to try sabotage your situation. How would they do that? Offer advice that does not have evidence. You may have heard things like, “I heard that working there is really hard…” or “I don’t trust that person, I heard that he/she is…” People like that don’t offer evidence that justifies the things they have heard. Their ultimate goal is to stop you from reaching those heights they failed to. A person with your best interest at heart will validate their thoughts by asking thought provoking questions and offer evidence to back their conclusions. Those that are for you, will offer meaningful advice and leave you to make your own decision, they will top that with making themselves available even if they disagree with your choice. Someone who has you at heart and meaningful advice will always share factual insight than someone who taps into the grapevine and “heard that...” Keep watch.

3. Your source will always be your resource

We’ve talked about how you are likely going to go through the “Something Cycle,” and how as we live it there’s likely a need for some sort of counsel along the way. As these events take place you grow a certain level of comfort in who you choose to confide in. The question becomes who is that? I’ve come to learn that the most important source of advice for me is the one I can be most honest and transparent with. Who fits that criteria? God has been the most consistent for me in that area. Don’t get me wrong I confide in other people in different circumstances (they know themselves), but none of them compare to what interactions with God are like for me. Interestingly enough, God has his fun way of connecting me with people to learn about what He’s trying to teach me. His advice has always been what I needed, not always what I wanted but definitely what I needed. This leaves me to realize that He is my most important source and I can always count on Him as my re-source through the Something Cycle. Give Him a shot, you will find that He has secrets to life, and advice to grow that many out there can't give. How do you do it? By simply talking to Him about how you feel and what you’re thinking, you’d be surprised at how good He is.

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